it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
