Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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