i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
