He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
