Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
