john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
