He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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