What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
