She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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