well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize