I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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