...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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