CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
