so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
