To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
