I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Randomize
