I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
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I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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