they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
