Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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