thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
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Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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