Michael Bay diarrhea
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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