I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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