i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
