my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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