I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
