You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
