That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
