and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize