What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?