Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
