Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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