I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
