if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
