i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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