Don't you send me to vm
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
