Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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