So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
