ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
