I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
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He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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