Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
