the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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