SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
