Moan for me like Helen Keller
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
