just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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