Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
