i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
