Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize