She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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