I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
