I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
