I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We need a shit load of segways right now
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
