your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
