plz talk dirty to me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
