So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he fucked my hip out of place.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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