I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
