Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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