So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
