im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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