Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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