the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hippo gnu deer
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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