I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
