My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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