why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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