Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
