So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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