Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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