i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
