I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
