from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize