Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
